Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Leftovers ... Part 1

So I am suppose to be creative here on this blog ... and it obviously hasn't been happening. It's not at all that I haven't been thinking about being creative here, it's that the process of photography--transferring photos to computer--organizing digital files--uploading photos sometimes isn't so fascinating to me when I'm doing the more mundane tasks of life. Like ... feeding my children. You know:)

Anyway, I HAVE been thinking of you, and in the spirit of not letting anything go to waste, I'm going to pick a couple of projects that I've done and share them here ... as outdated as they might be now that the holidays have passed.

I'd make a resolution to be better about staying on top of this stuff, but I'm way too honest to do so.

So. Without further ado, here is the project I did for The Elephant's class. It was really and truly a Halloween goody bag, but you know how pathetic the public education system has become about such things, so I had to disguise my true nefarious purpose as more of a celebrate-the-harvest-type thing (because you know we're all out harvesting ... um ... something). But don't worry. There were caramel and chocolate, foil-wrapped body parts in these bags.

Cleverly Disguised Halloween Goody Bags

Step 1.

Supplies: brown paper bags; raffia; nifty fun fabric of your liking; realistic-looking leaves (or, better yet, real ones. Unfortunately, we ... or rather, I, ... had waited too long and the real stuff outside was too authentically rotten to use). And don't forget the treats to stuff inside.

This is a photo of a brown paper bag. See? Artistic, isn't it?

Step 2.

Stuff bag, then fold as needed to fit your goodies inside.

Step 3.

Wrap long strings of the raffia around the bag to tie it closed, and make a cute little bow. Use your nifty fabric to tie the stem of the leaf to the raffia (or secure both however you see fit. I'm easy.)

Step 4.

Repeat process, oh, about 35 times (because classrooms are vastly overcrowded), and there you go!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Guest Blogger: The Elephant

Yes, that's right, it's the one and only Elephant, here because I won't let him have his OWN blog. Yet.


What I Got for Christmas

pirate flag
couple books
metal detector
Weird and Wild Creatures cards
Nintendo DS and six games
Liar's Dice game
stuffed bear
Build A Bear suit
"Allosaurus" and "Jurassic Park 3"
stuffed zebra made from alpaca hair
Dig and Glow dinosaur game
"How Do Dinosaurs Say I Love You"
"Life-size Dinosaurs"
"It Came from Bob's Basement"
Lego Power Miners
Club Penguin Cardjitsu
bunch of Pokemon cards
"Penguin Life"
bubble bath and soap
SpongeBob jammies
Club Penguin stuffed animals and books
Disney pens
"Pokemon" movie
"Night at the Museum 2"
"Up" with an adventure journal
fake boogers
hot cocoa mix and chocolates and candy


I'd just like to note that these gifts are from various relatives and three households.

Poor kid.

Monday, December 14, 2009

All is well

We're ready for the holiday! Pile of presents under the tree enough for about, oh, 40 kids. Santa photo taken. And The Butterfly is back to the perfection of health. (Not that I mean to tempt anything ... I'm just grateful.)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Health Care Reform Example #76567688

I can't believe this massive fuckery. The Girl is sick, some kind of virus that causes her to projectile vomit. Took her to the hospital last night; they gave her an anti-nausea pill that allows her to keep fluids down to stay hydrated. Wrote an RX for more. Today, I attempted to fill that RX, but the state-sponsored health insurance, which I was forced to put my daughter on when my previous employer fucked us all over, does not cover this massively expensive anti-nausea med so gave us a liquid alternative. Guess what? The Girl projectile vomits this liquid alternative. So I might end up taking her to the ER again ... which will cost you, the American taxpayer, far more than the original medicine would have. Here's the real ass-reaming component: As I'm reading the printed material that came with the liquid drug to figure out the name of the ER doctor from last night, I discover the drug information sheets are printed by ... yes, my previous employer: The Hearst Corp. So let me say right now: FUCK YOU, HEARST CORP!